Addiction and the Holidays
We might feel torn apart by nostalgia and grief over the good times and good people of the past, and wracked with guilt and inadequacy for failing to create a more wonderful life for ourselves. We might feel scared about our dissatisfaction and hypnotized by the promise of fulfillment just beyond the hard glass.
Addictive and codependent behaviors thrive during this season of fantasy.
We use our drugs and habits to escape the pain, while imagining how we will miraculously make changes, always tomorrow, or next week, or next year. We frantically try to keep our idea of the all-good holiday alive through our codependent behaviors, imagining that we have the power to make sure that everyone else is happy and no one gets upset, while suppressing our own feelings of anger and disappointment.
We can watch our relationships with alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, chewing tobacco, prescription and non-prescription drugs, gambling, video games, television or Internet videos, social media, food, exercise, work, and shopping. We can ask ourselves: How much are we using? How much of our time does it consume? How much money are we spending on our habits? How long have we been using? Is it increasing, decreasing, or remaining constant?
We can watch our relationships with our loved ones. We can ask ourselves: How much of our energy is being devoted to worrying about or trying to control other people’s addictive behaviors? How much are we being controlled by fear of others’ reactions to our boundaries or limits?
How are our habits affecting our physical health? How are our behaviors affecting our relationships with others? How are our drugs, habits, or relationship patterns affecting our work life? What are the short- and long-term benefits and costs?
As we watch and explore our behaviors in an open and neutral manner, we set the stage for our growth toward increased health. We emerge into the New Year with information about ourselves that we need in order to develop a plan of action, if we so choose, toward change. And by being more honest with ourselves and more present in the life we currently are living, we have broken the paralyzing spell of fantasy: We have begun moving toward a better life.
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Not Always Getting What The Heart Desires
There is a philosophy going around that if you desire something enough in a positive way, and you visualize it continually the universe will deliver the fruits of that desire. There are some instances depicted where a man really wants something like a new sports car and he meditates on it (don't try this!), sees it in his minds eye, tries it out in his imagination, surrounds himself with picture of it, etc; and low and behold this sports car manifests one day on the gross plane and he is able to possess the object of his desire.
Of course possessing the object of your material desire does not give you happiness. I will talk about that subject after talking about the conception of the universe as one big Kalpa Vrksa (desire) tree or Aladdin's Genie for everyone. Does the universe fulfill all your desires if the desires are strong enough?
There is an interesting word "synchronicity", which means that events which are not causally related (one event being the cause of the other) occur together by the action of some unknown (in this case the universe) factor. Sometimes we are speaking about someone else, and at the same time the person calls on the phone.
That would be an example of synchronicity. So, what is actually happening, and how to explain this through the lens of Vedic knowledge? The universe is not unconscious nor it a big genie responding to everyone's wishes, nor is it impersonal energy responding to our mental energetic radiation!
We know that behind all the universal functions there is Krishna as the creator, law giver, overseer, permitted, proprietor, universal Supersoul, individual Supersoul, etc. So, in other words "not a blade of grass moves without the will of the Supreme Personality of Godhead."
Also there are 33 million demigods who control the universe under Krishna's direction. So, why does it seem that when people desire things with great intensity and they meditate on the fruits of their desire, the universe responds to their desires?
Srila Prabhupada explains this nicely in a purport: And so, when the living entity is bewildered in his desires, the Lord allows him to fulfill those desires, but the Lord is never responsible for the actions and reactions of the particular situation, which may be desired.
Being in a bewildered condition, therefore, the embodied soul identifies him with the circumstantial material body and becomes subjected to the temporary misery and happiness of life. The Lord is the constant companion of the living entity as Paramatma, or the Supersoul, and therefore He can understand the desires of the individual soul, as one can smell the flavor of a flower by being near it.
Desire is a subtle form of conditioning for the living entity. The Lord fulfills his desire, as he deserves: Man proposes and God disposes. The individual is not, therefore, omnipotent in fulfilling his desires. The Lord, however, can fulfill all desires, and the Lord, being neutral to everyone, does not interfere with the desires of the minute independent living entities.
The key phrase in Prabhupada's purport is: "The Lord fulfills his desire as he deserves!". In other words if one is functioning under the laws of Karma one has a certain stock of good karma and a certain stock of bad karma. The good karma we can compare to a positive balance in our bank account.
When we have a strong desire to buy something, at a certain point that desire motivates us to take the money out of our bank account so that we can purchase the item. In the same way when we have a strong desire to get something in this world, Krishna as the Supersoul is aware of this, and this desire is fulfilled, if (and this is a big if) we have enough good karma in our bank account.
Now, when we take the good karma out of our karmic bank account, guess what? The amount of good karma in our karmic bank account is reduced by the amount of the withdrawal. So after some time there will be no more good karma left and we can desire till the cow jumps over the moon, but there will be no response.
Our Bittersweet Life of Desires

Suppose that new pickup truck seems to be just what you need to feel wonderful again? Maybe it is the redecorating of the dining room. Or, perhaps it's that new Fall outfit, or the vacation that will let you get away for awhile. For some of us it might mean going off the wagon and having a drink, for others it could be eating your way through the holidays. And what if it is that clandestine affair with Mr. or Ms. Unavailable, with whom you find that your heart and hands have a mind of their own?
So many desires. So many apparent needs. We all have a life time of them. When I was young I wanted toys that were soon forgotten. In junior high school I wanted a girlfriend who soon was left behind for another. In High school I wanted to be a sports hero. But the popularity and acclaim eluded me regardless of the athletic success.
All along I have discovered my strongest desires had something missing once attained. There was loneliness and little motivation once I reached grad school in Arizona, there was stress and disillusionment once I became a pastor, and once past the initial joy of moving to the mountains of Colorado my chronic depression returned.
So, what do we do when we want something really, really bad?
While it's true that the intended satisfaction rarely arrives or doesn't last all that long, we often need to pursue the goal anyway. It may be a noble endeavor that deserves our efforts. It may simply provide a little joy for an interlude in a stressful life.
At the same time, realizing that the end may not be what we really desire, we may refrain from making serious mistakes. Another binge drinking episode, an unfortunate affair, or simply a waste of time and effort can be avoided by recalling our past.
This morning I awoke from a dream where her lips met mine, where my arousal was immediate, and my desire was for more, more, more. We all have such moments, whether in dreams or in the break room with a co-worker. It is the life force moving through us in a way that reminds us that we are not just a gob of clay moping around. Further, it is a reminder of the God spark within us that seeks to enliven and entertain us, as well as, challenging us to develop character and depth.
So, what do I do when I want something really, really, really bad?
I allow myself to be very afraid of my human frailties! But, I also let myself enjoy the sweet joy of the dream. Finally, I evaluate how reasonable the goal is, while watching out for any obsessiveness in regards to it.
Being too riled up is a signal to me that I'm trying to get too much out of something. I'm trying to escape some discomfort in my life by running towards something wonderful. What I need to do is face what's bothering me underneath and resolve it. My preoccupation with the latest and greatest desire is a faithful indicator of my avoidance mechanisms.
Healthy fear, joy, evaluation, and watchfulness over my motives are what help me. What might work for you?
Manifesting Your True Desires - 3 Tips To Clear Your Mind And Manifest What You Dream About
We all have dreams about what we would like to have in our lives. Be it a better car, a better home, or a career that inspires you to get up in the morning; all of these can seem like just an impossible dream. But, that does not mean that it HAS to be that way. You can get around the belief that it cannot happen, and start to condition yourself to EXPECT it to happen.
Manifesting can be a tricky thing to do, especially when you are not used to consciously creating the opportunities that you want. But, you can learn how and you can make your life turn around very quickly, when you keep a mind clear of distraction and disbelief and focus on bring in what you DO want.
Here are 3 tips to clear your mind and manifest what you DREAM about:
1. You want to channel your anger, frustration, and any other negative emotions and turn them into POSITIVE ones.
We all know on some level that the more negative that we feel and think about things, the worst our lives can get. Basically, you start to ATTRACT what you feel and what you consistently think about. If you want to turn things around, turn those emotions around and your results will soon begin to follow.
2. You need to zone out the nay sayers and the negative influences.
Any time that you turn on the television, the radio, or pick up a newspaper, you are going to be greeted with negative stories. It sells, and because of this, they are going to keep pounding it in your mind. Well, all that is going to do is to make everything seem a lot worse than it has to be. And that is going to make it a LOT harder to manifest your desires, when you feel the despair. I am not trying to influence you to ignore these things altogether, just tone them down a little and see the difference.
3. Find out a proper and REALISTIC method for using the Law of Attraction.
I will be the first to admit, that there is a lot of unproven hype that sometimes finds itself attached to the law of attraction. Methods that promise miracles for doing nothing will only keep you DREAMING, when you need to be MANIFESTING. With the right system, you can use the law of attraction and start seeing REAL RESULTS.
